things are changing

not login in as much and haven't seen much of my Master, honestly...maybe is my insecurities talking, but I doubt I will see him again in a long time...


I am not a psychic but I know and can feel when something is not right...


All I want, all I need is to know what is happening, or why is it happening...


I may be blowing things out of proportion, I may not be, but silence is the worse, specially when the only tool of communication we have is email.


It is so tough...I can't even log in to SL anymore, everything reminds me of him...I wonder if one day things will remind him of me :)

From SL to RL

Luta

an off day

I really wanted to log into SL today *pouts* came home, cooked, lurked a bit, answered a few comments from the TMI Tuesday blog which I love.  I actually play every Tuesday but in my RL blog.  Yes, I have two blogs, this is more like my SL blog mixed with my RL...the other has no mention of my SL. 

Been feeling bleh, crying on and off today, might be just a hormonal thing, who knows... 

Yes, I am tired and with very good reasons, was sick for a few days, adjusting to public transportation, and of course as we all know RL always comes first!

Yes, I want to spend some time in SL, do some window shopping and actual shopping, see what other new things they have and now with Christmas approaching they are having tons of decorations...hmm? makes me wonder, how do I decorate our home?  I guess I will figure that out on Friday! I still have the socks with our names, yaaay, we have a chimney so it is peeeeeerrrfect!!!

Getting a bit excited here...going to bed, need to get up extra early!  Tired, exhausted, with very little time for things I want to do, but I feel sooo good inside, a sense of peace and satisfaction :)


From SL to RL with Love
me

Paying closer attention to RL

Not login in SL as much as I used to, RL is once again taking over and I don't mind that much, as long as I am busy I really don't mind at all.

I do show my face and say hi to my dear friends Skye and Koco, pay tier, check on my dogs and make sure they have plenty of food.

Thanksgiving was ok, other than I spent my long weekend sick, and I so wished I could have eaten everything my sister and friend sent over, unfortunately I am still feeling a bit queasy, seems like everything I try to eat I can't enjoy:(
Weather was like spring time mmmmmm, I would stick my head out the window and take a deep breath in wanting to go out and doing something different, but my tummy would not allow me to get far. I opened all the windows and just let the air circulate around the house hopefully taking away all the germs!

And but of course since tomorrow is back to work I start feeling better today :/

I must really get to bed, I have to get up at 5 and make my way to the train station, I thought I'd be driving today but things didn't go as I expected, tomorrow is another day :)

Hope everyone enjoyed their thanksgiving!!


Signing off
Punky

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Nothing much to report

I've been logging in to SL just to check on my pups.

Through the weekend I spent most of my time playing PS3 - Assassins Creed, getting ready for the new one that I will be acquiring this weekend!

My Master is already hooked on his gaming and ghost in SL, lmao, didn't take long *grins*

I have been writing more in my RL blog which I enjoy very much, I am a serious lurker so I spend tons of time while on-line reading other peoples' blog *sighs* I just enjoy knowing about the dynamics of Master & slave relationships, D/s relationships, their different point of view, how they handle certain situations! It is just amazing :)

Have an amazing day everyone!!

From SL to RL with love
Asvid

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Exploring and Enjoying

Past few days I have been just lingering all about SL trying to stay busy and motivated.  Among my explorations I visited Costa Rica which is a wonderful SIM, there are so many things to do and see there, I love it!  Such wonderful built and very well put together may I add.

I went to K&D (club) to visit and spend time with my friend Skye, they had a tat and tail contest which I won - 1st place baby!!! yaayyy!! I made 300L's on that...hehehe AWESOME! and of course - had a wonderful time dancing and going crazy!! meeooowww! only thing I have to complain about is the fact that their dance ball needs some serious update!

I've been login in to spend time with my BioBreed pups, keeping an eye on gema waiting for her to become fertile in order to mate with bubba! I want puppies!!!

Master has been busy in RL so he is not login in as much, but he drops by when he can to keep an eye on his girl *grins wide*

I love that man!!!

When he is not around I am either chilling with my dogs or I go SIM hopping - cheking out new stores, new products, gardens etc.

I went to a club (forgot the name) and had an alright time, music was pumping but the dances sucked! I need a dance HUD...ah! that is exactly what I am going to do today *makes a note of it*. 

I don't know if anyone remembers Bad Girls Dance Club - used to be a BDSM club that was pumping and full all day!  I remember visiting this place back in 2007 and crashing left and right because of all the people, couldn't even move around the dance floor, it was lagnation!! that is how full it used to be, guess I am going to explore today and see if its there, so much has changed through the years...for all I  know it might no longer be there...

Time to do some exploring and shopping!

From SL to RL with love
Punky

Masters' New Toy!

hehe...


Masters' new toy is the 360 and boy is he hooked!

I notice my Master is like a kid in some ways, when he gets a new toy he is just so excited and into it seems like there is no room for anything else. His attention span is limited and I can understand why, I get the same way...but with a bit of a difference - I can actually do 2 things at the same time *winks*.

Ever since he received his gift when on-line with me he tries to multi-task...well, more like putting me off here and there cause he is too much into the game and the new gadgets it has *grins wide* little does he know I had been there and done that and already had my 360 fix during the summer hehehe...My son and friends would gather at my house every Friday to compete, try new games, etc., in other words - I had my time with it and is sorta out of my system :)

Our moments together are limited to a few hours a day and that is only when we get to see each other because there will be days we don't have the luxury to spend any quality time at all. 
I don't mind just being logged in and standing next to him, to me all that matters is that I am with him, I appreciate our moments together whether it is 1 minute or 1 hour, time with him is priceless.

At least I know how my Master gets when he acquires a new toy...when the time comes that this doll is put in his hands he will explore every little gadget that I come with, hit and press all my buttons, oh and I also work on voice command and if he gets it right I probably can be trained to work on looks and hand signals!

I love my hooked on Xbox 360 Papi!

Papi & His girl

I aim to please

I always hit the target...

I always achieve my goals


from SL to RL with love
Punky

my BioBreeds pets

I have two wonderful German Shepherds - bubba & gema, and a Shiba named - julez...they are from BioBreeds Breedable.

My first one was bubba, he is getting old on me, 112 years old to be exact so I need to be able to breed him and pass down his beautiful blue eyes to his next generation *rubs his head lovingly*.  Today I went and got him a sweet female to keep him company, I just hope I am not too late to breed him :( aren't they cute!! bubba is my special guy, he has been with me for a few months and for that reason it makes him very special

BioBreeds will do exactly what it says, they breed through genetic mechanism and they have traits you can pass from generation to generation, I still have no idea how the breeding works but about to find out sometime this week when julez is ready :)

A pic of my girls: gema and julez:

Today was my first day actually playing with them, I just figured out they listen to commands, they fetch, stay, lay, sit, they follow me around the property, I wonder if I tp out they will follow?  I must figure that one out. 

Having fun just spending time with them, learning and figuring out every little gadget.  If I know I am going to go long without login in I make sure bubba has tons of food available, enough room to walk about. 

*Make sure they are fed! if you don't properly take care of them they will get sick and they could die, if you don't think you can care for them don't bother, they need attention and care like real pets do!

Julez is the baby at the moment, she is so tiny! At first I didn't know what to name her, I was really opting for an original name but she is so little and precious I had to name her julez...hehe, such a cutie!! 

I also have a cat, his name is spot, nope, he is not a BioBreeds, they don't make cats, he is a Zooby kitty :) happy little thing, always purring around the house and following his mama!  He has tons of toys he can also play with.  I sorta lost him today while he was playing with the ball I rezzed, after much calling out his name (like he can hear me) and looking for him all over the property...once I located the ball he was right behind!

I enjoy my virtual pets, they are so much fun!

from SL to RL with love

Punky

Ruthed In Second Life




Ruthed

 

I logged in as Mayia today and she didn't rez for the life of her!!

I was a bit upset - who am I kidding! I was pissed and sad at the same time.  I couldn't see my AV, her eyes all white, her skin was very...noob, her feet and her hands were huge, the shape...her huge hips, voluptuous breasts, cute nose and lips were gone - wiped out.  I couldn't edit appearance nor put on fresh skin and shape from my inventory.  I kept login in and out, even tried other AV's but they looked fine, it was just Mayia with the issue so I called for help!

Sweet and loving Skye to the rescue...she diagnosed me as being 'Ruthed' and mind you, it is the first time I've heard that word in SL and I have been there for 4 years (yesterday was my 4th Rez Day).
I guess it has happened to her before because she went searching in her inventory for a notecard on how to fix the matter.  While she was doing that I went on to do my own homework, I went to google...and there I found my answer, you can try one of the solutions below: 

1.  Make sure your inventory is completed loaded...if that doesn't work
2.  Try putting on an article of clothing from your inventory
3.  Rebake (Ctrl+Alt+R) or (Advance, Character, Rebake Textures)
     ...if all else fails
4.  Advance - Character - Character Test - Test Female (cause I am female of course)
Takes you back to your noob form :) sure was weird to see myself like that after so many years. *sighs*

Now, when I went to fix myself up, put on my shape and skin, I couldn't find the right skin, and the shape was not the same, maybe I forgot to save them, ugh, I always forget to do that!!.

I am not the type to change skin or shape constantly, I am often happy with the outcome of my girls and they stay the same.  Mayias' skin and shape have not changed in over two years :) and it was really a downer when I couldn't put her back to the way she was *cries* do you actually think I gave up?  pffft got another thing coming...I am known to probably slow down, give up? that is not a word in my vocabulary!

To make a long story short...I did it!  She looks like her old self again :) and if you are wondering, yes, I am a bit OCD *chuckles* It wouldn't be the same if she looked different..at least not to me.


She is my first AV, the first of many *grins* you can check out my Second Life Profile but I must warn you, if you don't have an acct you really can't see much...sorry
Above all it was a great and fun night...I saw myself as a noob and trying old skins and shapes I saw all the changes I made through the years - like growing up, until I found a shape and skin I felt comfortable and happy with, I really didn't see the need to make any changes, just glad she is back to ol'self again

At least I am not Ruthed anymore!

New Skin & Exploring

It was a good night, I went dancing and kept my lovely Skye company at work for a few.  It was funny how they had a customer and he kept tipping them 20 L's here and there, helluuur, you are in SL, what can you get with 20L's. 

Took a Jewelry building course at Builders Brewery - that went well :) going to teach Skye how to do it! Next week is the second class...Looking forward to it!  Hopefully one day I can put all of my new learned skills to work and put a little store :)

I went to a fantasy/medieval SIM "Hanaris" - that will be opening soon and received an invitation in one of the groups, great clothes!! I enjoyed that very much...I have a thing for dressing up *giggles*

New Skin from LAQ

Dress from: MOONSTRUCK, they come with shoes too!

Off to bed!

from SL to RL with love

Punky A.

New Computer!

I am really looking forward to the graphics!

Purspose of the new computer is to specifically and only use for Second Life purpose and my Blogger!!

*doing cartwheels all over the room*

All in one Z5 from Acer...Genuine Windows^® 7 Home Premium - 64-bit version - 2nd Generation Intel® Core™ i3-2100 processor (3.1GHz, 3MB total cache) - 4GB DDR3 SDRAM - 1TB hard drive - 23" Full HD Widescreen LCD touch screen (1920 x 1080) - Intel® HD Graphics - Intel® H67 Express chipset - 8X DVD±RW DL - high-definition audio support - webcam - built-in stereo speakers - 802.11b/g/n WLAN - gigabit LAN - USB - wireless keyboard and mouse - Multi-in-1 card reader

I am just too excited!!

Power Outage!

I had some slow days with my SL and when I was ready to get my grove on mother nature takes over, we get hit by a snow storm and now power is out, the worse thing is that they are talking about getting the electricity back by Wednesday *checks her calendar* that is almost 3 days away!! are they serious??

I think was is hurting me most is the fact I can't be in-world, I have so many plans and things to do at the moment *rolls her eyes*

I guess I will be spending a few days at my sisters house until the power is back on...I need my SL!!

Punky

Happy Rez Day!!

My Masters 5th year Rez Day!!!

First and foremost I would like to thank Second Life for bringing him into my life, two thumbs up!! I know fate took him there so we could meet *winks*

I am sure it has been five wonderful years for him in which I have been part of for over two *grins wide*

I met him in Terabithia - he was a Satyr/Faun, from there my Master has taken many roles & forms, Privateer, Hunter, Samurai, Sailor, Viking and lets not forget ghost!!

One role that does not change, he is my Master!

I have to plan something exquisite for when he is home next week! 

Loving you loving me :)
your Punky

Rearrange my Schedule

Since my Masters' return there is much rearranging I must do.  My schedule was totally different almost two weeks ago and now I must change things around.

He is first and my priority, he is my Master...I drop everything I am doing when he sends a message/text or when I am in SL with him,  as I said before, he is a busy man so when he makes time for me you bet your sweet ass I am going to be there!

We've been having tons of fun and I have been learning many things about myself :) and I am sure he has picked up a few things himself - it is always a new experience with him...even when we sit there quietly it is awesome.

It is great to finally spend time with him, only thing is I have to rearrange my schedule a bit and be more flexible where I can fit in all the activities I have picked up when he wasn't around, some I have already given up on and others I just have to find a way to make them fit :) in the end it always works out.

Back to work and looking forward to an awesome evening with him, at his feet, at his side where this girly belongs!

In love Always
Punky

2 days of login in

Master is back!!

For how long?  in SL only he knows, in my RL he is here to stay - of course I have hopes that he still feels the same way.

Once again he is exploring and doing his thang *smiles*, we visited a few sims; capture, rape, etc., and met a girl whom he took home and under his wing, of course it was discussed prior to doing so and the girl is non-restricted.  I don't feel I have much to worry about.

At first I had a bit of a problem with it because he has been away for a long time and would like to rekindle much that we have missed, besides, Master is known to have ghost tendencies and poof in and out of SL for long periods of time, and his life can get quite busy :( at the same time I thought it would be selfish to say something at that moment, I really wanted to think about the situation and how it could affect us 'me'.  Again, that is the greedy side of me talking since I would like to keep him all for myself, can I be blamed?  feels like forever since we were together.

I slept on it for a while and thought about it while doing a few tasks, and came to my own conclusions.  Yes, I have some fears that he will meet someone and eventually will not want me, especially since we are in a long distance relationship, finding someone close to home would be more convenient for him :(

I enjoy seen him in SL, doing things, exploring, discovering, and it is something we probably will continue to do when we move in together (wishful thinking).  I love our SL life - we have the opportunity to explore different aspects we can't experience in RL at the moment, so it is an advantage you might say.  I know that no matter how many people arrive what we have is irreplaceable, we have stuck with each other through thick and thin and after 2 years we are still holding strong :)

We have trust, communication, and much respect, we make a great team and we are open with each other, I know if I feel uncomfortable in a situation I can speak my mind and he will be there to listen and understand and of course vice versa.

From SL to RL with Love

Punky

A Great Day!

up and down, down and up the fae goes!

Sometimes there are feelings I can't explain so why even bother :) if I try to put it into words what I pobrably will end up doing is putting my foot in my mouth *teehee*

Since I woke up this morning everything has been absolutely wonderful and I am grateful for that, RL turned around for me about 3 weeks ago...a slap in the face woke my cute ass up! Amen for that!! I am seen things in a very different way and wowee, has it helped!

On the downside my SL was not as busy, I had to step out to RL and it consumed more time than I expected, but tomorrow is another day, lets make it productive...need to check on Builders Brewery Schedule see what is going on for the week.

Master was on today, always happy and glad when he is around, I loves me that man *sighs* :)

Again...it was a great day!

Builders Brewery in Second Life

One thing I have never been able to do in SL is build, I find it ridiculously hard, frustrating, and I have to use math (in some sort of way), but after 4 years in-world I really want to try doing something different.

I was looking around for a place where I can take classes and put my plan to action.  Browsing through the search engine in SL I found Builders Brewery of Fine Prims.  Amazing place!

First and foremost, the teachers I've had the pleasure to take lessons with are the best! They take their time to teach you, explain everything in details and even stay after class for as long as it takes to answer questions and fix the mistakes some people made while in the class.
If you have a request for a class you would like to take they will arrange something to meet your needs :) isn't that awesome!!

The website is under construction but you can check their schedule online for upcoming classes.  I am amazed at the things I have learned and it wasn't as hard as I though it would be.

Enjoying this new experience! 

First Lesson! how to make pumpkins!!

SLiteChat

Unable to download SL in my work computer I am just glad I have SLiteChat to stay in touch...I thought this would have disappeared by now like SLim.

With SLiteChat I can IM my friends while at work, I think it even has an app for cell phones...but with all the shit BlackBerry is going through at the moment I very much doubt that it is an option *rolls her eyes*

With the cold getting closer my SL time is going up, I really need to download SL to my work computer and specially now that I am learning how to build and soon, hopefully, opening a store!

I am happy with SLiteChat, at least I can stay in touch!!

SLiteChat Download

 

Somebody Stop ME!! The hawtest Fae in the Woods

Once again a great day in Terabithia, had my first RP, I didn't do bad, but didn't do that well...I need to step up on my game.

I think I am going to do well this time around, adjusting fast and not so hesitant to engage in RP.  The Fae Queen has been exquisite and very helpful and Walker finally made his appearance *blushes* he is soo cute!

Anyhow, had fun taking pics *grins* what else is new?  I need to take pics with Walker too...he simply adores Punky, don't blame him, so does everyone else, she is a hot piece!!

Punky A: i am too fucking hot for my own good
Walker M: why do you say that what happened
Inventory item offered
Walker M: geeze.....
Punky A: raiiight
Walker M: you werent lieing....
Inventory item offered
Walker M: yesssss
Walker M: dayum
Punky A: yesh, my beatch is the shit
Walker M grins

Coming up...photo shoot with one of he hawtest faun/satyr in Tera! yeepee!!!

Fae of Terabithia

Back to my old roots! Back to The Realm of Terabithia...

My friend Walker caught me online today...man he always catches me and gets me involved in RP one way or the other.

We met in Terabithia back in August of 2009 when I first joined and ever since then he has followed me and I have followed him to different RP scenarios; we never stick around for long but we sure make it fun while we are doing it.

I always find my way back to Tera, I still have some friends there, they were so surprised and happy to see me and it sure felt so good to see them again and have such a warm wlecome, it felt like home.  My application was approved although I had to tweek a few things here and there...and to the most awful part - I need to come up with a backstory, don't like those, just don't like the process I guess.  I had to decide what type of thing I want to do, to contribute to my race so I chose a healer or in my case I am a druid :)...once again I have to do some homework which is not that hard this time around since I saved my old notecards from back when. 

Already having a wonderful time and meeting new people.  Aside from that I spent time with my friend Pietra, always nice and positive seen and spending time with her, she ups my mood to the max.  She will be joining me in Tera from time to time, looking forward to it.  I also talked to Skye (my bestest buddy) and Koco (my sweet sister) they are all doing great and very happy which makes me happy and I say is about time!! Now is my turn..lol

Sure is sweet to be back, while some things changed, some remained the same.

Looking for things to do in SL

I am trying different things to get into in SL...been thinking of probably getting into building, I have no idea how but they offer classes and also there are plenty of tutorials to help me out.  I know a few people who are great builders and I am sure they would not mind helping me out in the process.

My Master is great at doing textures, he made the tattooes that I have, some of them simulating the ones I have in RL, so I know he can give  me a hand if I ask nicely *grins* to get some textures done and stuff. 

I have been login in for the past 3 days, wowee, thats a first!! I want to go to Octoberville and check it out, see whats poppin on that side and take some pics and solve some puzzles!! that place is amazing, they pull it off every single year...so much lag, but it is worth it!

Well, back to in-world and see what else I can do...here is some photo editing I did today, found a nice tutorial on YouTube on adding textures/backgrounds to pictures using Picnik (Check it out) and I made this:

BEFORE

AFTER

Spending time with Skye

She is awesome! I logged in and was not thinking of staying until skye hit me up

Skye H: SCREAMS LIKE A BANSHEEEE """ BABY HELLLOOOO """"
Punky A: baaaaaaaby!!!!

and after that it was all down hill from there, catching up on old times, talking about things that are happening, she still doing the bloodline, only 100 and something more souls to collect and she will be a queen...I could never get into that but I sure tried, didn't mind being used as a blood doll, hehehe. 

I am a bit off of what is going on in SL, I asked Skye if she knew what was in and what was hot at the moment, so I took the landmarks and went shopping, I need to get new hair,...my skin and shape will never change, if I want to look different I change AV...I first shop around, check out a few places see what they have, what was new, make some comparisons and decide, that is the worse part, making a decision, a choice!! I tp'ed Skye to the store I was in, so she can check it out, I knew she would like some of them, oh by the way, in the end TRUTH Hair it was, absolutely love her work.  Other stores I like; Damselfly is good one, and lets not forget EMO-tions, I still have love for Magika...I have quite a few from there *sighs* those were the days when I used to indulge in shopping! 

Oh well, after doing some shopping we went back to my place and guess what happened?  nah! we took some pictures!!

One of the hottest Beatches in SL

She is so cute! she gets into things I couldn't think of doing, she is bold and tells it like it is! For some reason when I'm using that avatar I have a different attitude...I feel bad!!

And with Halloween approaching and so many things going on in SL, the haunts, the parties, the haunted houses, Octoberville, and I just love to dress up!! I am so into dressing up! I love Halloween!!! and now even more (coughs) anywaaayyys!!! will start login into KoinUp, upload pics and wonder about SL looking for fun places to go to!

*sighs*

Insomnia

I have been sleeping an average of two hours a night and I am feeling extremely tired.

I can't concentrate at all and I am trying so hard...maybe I should try harder :(

I clear my head and thoughts before I lay down, I've had the warm milk (tastes awful), reading (on my second book), writing (I am in need of a few more notebooks), listening to music (very soothing but I end up singing along, so much for sleep)...nothing seems to be helping, yet I keep trying.

This year has been full of challenges, encountering situations I am not used to, working through them and around them depending on the situation, triumph and defeat all at the same time, and I am still stuck!

WTF what can a girl do to be able to breath? I feel as if I am suffocating and everything I am doing is not really working for me, still gasping for air.

I know I am strong, I can do this! I have been through so much in my life and I am still standing, I am not going to allow a set back erase all of my hard work or bring me down...then again...dang, I am so tired.

Better days will come, just waiting for them.



Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Winter is coming, getting ready for SL

Logged in a few days ago and seen my sweet Punky and it just made me so happy!  I found her in the same faerie outfit I left her in for our second year anniversary more than a month ago when I took some pictures for the blog.  I paid the tier rent and checked on Bubba (our dog) and now that I am writing I completely forgot to check on spot (our cat), I felt so bad, they've been alone for a very long time :( but that will change soon.

I spoke to a few of my faithful friends and they were so happy I was there, I couldn't stay as long as I wanted to and really wanted to return that afternoon after work but my schedule suddenly changed, plans came up and RL is always first.  We are still having a few nice days out, weather is cooperating (until today...bummer) and I really want to take advantage of it, as we all know winter can sometimes be long and it is just around the corner, I will have more than enough time to be in SL.

I had some offers to RP at a few realms, but I am thinking of going a totally different road this time around, I just don't want to be there taking prim space, I need to put all of my megapixels to good use; keeping my options open.  There is a guy who is always asking me to pursue modeling and each time I log in he hits me up and made a point to tell me that he will continue harassing me until I say yes *giggles* persistent...isn't he?  I am not going to dismiss any possibilities, I am completely open to any suggestions as long as it sounds good and can be flexible.  Flexibility is very important!!!

Lets see what happens this time around, last time I made my comeback things didn't work the way I expected, I couldn't concentrate, I was not in a good place and there was so much going on in my RL as well.  Another thing is that SL has changed so very much and finding new things to do is becoming a challenge.  RP is the same thing all over the place, matter of fact I had a conversation with a friend and it seems that tons of people are feeling the same way, I thought it was just me.
If you are not a creator or have a business to run just gets a bit monotonous after a while, but there is one thing that makes us want to log in and can't even get enough of SL...the famous L word (LOVE) - one of the main reason why people go back day after day, hooked to the max;  ...relationships in SL, darn, a very sensitive subject, lets not go there for now.

For whatever reason I always find my way back to SL, I only wish I could be consistent...then again...I have no idea what this winter will bring and so looking forward to it, lets see what happens!!  :)

From SL to RL with Love
Punky

see you in-world

What a night

I feel like I am in an episode of 'Hungover'

Imagine waking up in a room bigger than your apartment, walk out to another room and see piles of girls sleeping all over the place, not been able to walk around or in this circumstances tip toe around trying not to wake them up...big question; who the hell are all this gilrs? I don't know most of them but remember talking to a few, oh wait but I am not home! Lmao I feel like I am in the twilight zone!

We met some 'rich' guy last night and he fell in love with us, our attitude, charisma, the loudness, my dancing...I thought dude is awesome but when he said his age that was a huge turnoff, helluuur, I don't like younger guys! Maybe in my 50's when I become a hotter cougar!
Anyways, he is a funny character, he tells us we are the first poor girls he's ever chilled with and had the most fun with, duh, does that surprise you?

To sum it up - we went to his house for an after party, met some of his cousins and friends, tons of people all over, dancing, drinking, swimming, it was something very movie like. I laughed so hard with my friends that my nonvisible abs are hurting this morning, it was a great time.

Time to begin my Sunday, I have tons of plans I need to rearrange and other plans that need to be canceled.
Getting things ready for this week ahead,

ain't life grand?

Sometimes when we go out without planning the evening the most amazing and craziest things always happen :)


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...and Friday is here

Tons of trouble to get into, feeling better than ever, my mood keeps changing and for the best of course.

Meditation is getting more intense although I feel I have sorta of a double personality since I am separating certain aspects of my life and not mixing them...different dynamics.

All that counts is that I am having the time of my life with friends, I really would like to include my sisters and we should do things together but seriously, we have absolutely nothing in common and when together we are just a boring bunch, I can't keep trying to entertain them with all of my tragedies and the drama of my friends which seems to keep them well entertained...love it!

With fall approaching we must really take advantage of the few nice days we are going to be having, it is a bit nippy out but as long as it doesn't rain we should be all set!

Life is good and it keeps getting better:)

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Parting with certain things

Still hard to think back at a month ago and think about my miscarriage...it is something that it will take time to get over and deal and with time heal.

We had a baby-shower at work for the wife of one of our co-workers, just so happens that she is having a girl...in other words, it was really hard to gather up the few little things I bought and was given for my baby to give it away. I don't know why I was holding so tight to it, I have no idea why keeping it just made me feel a bit better, but is over and done with.

Healing takes time...one day at a time

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Manic Monday and other stuff

...I wish it was Sunday cause that's my funday...yeah, I only wish it was Sunday all over again, sniff my comforter as I wrap myself around it like a burrito! ummm, I just love the smell of clean sheets/comforters.  Monday mornings I feel as if I didn't get enough sleep the previous night, tossing and turning, thinking and knowing I have to work the next day does not help.  I was really looking forward to coming to work and for that reason I was so excited and I actually had a good night sleep...I even had my clothes ready from last night, helluuuur, when did that start happening?  We just had so much to cover before actual work really began...
coffee + gossip = great day at the office :)
At least our gossips don't get us in trouble, we are usually just talking shit about ourselves, putting each other on the spot and making fun of our own tragedies, and God knows we have plenty!!  Can't complaint, it has been a great day after all, so the gossips did work!

Had a great weekend aside from the date and decided to just lay off that department, my friends can just go suck a big c**k but at the moment I can't tell my heart what to do.
I am in love with someone else and even though this person may no longer feel the same way about me I can't help the way I feel about him.
I am sure he does have some feelings for me somewhere, but things are just not the same.  as Miss E says; how does he expect you to stay in love with him when he does not nurture your relationship...but that is something that maybe when it is here we will both deal with, but until then I am the one who is trying to deal with all of this feelings and this love...

oh well, esa es la vida!

Disaster Date

Why do I bother even trying to go out with anyone else at the moment is beyond me!  Even though it was a double date and I was not alone still made me feel like shit!

I don't know if anyone else will understand how I feel but I really felt as if I was cheating on my Master, OMG, what a horrible feeling!! Feeling guilty as if I was betraying him, and in all honesty I don't want to feel like that ever again.

I kept thinking about him through the entire night, moments of our times together kept popping into my head, I was so very distant.  We went to a Chinese restaurant and after to a club which I was glad about, the loud music helped for conversation not to take place.

I can't help the way I feel, how much I love him...I can't help it if my mind and body does not allow me to be with anyone else...Ladies and Gentleman this chiqui fell in love and she did so very hard!!

Making some decisions

Loving someone makes it really hard to make decisions sometimes, or in my case all the time.

For some time the relationship between my Master and I is very slow, we don't interact, we really don't talk and I feel as if I am getting the boot but he feels bad one way or the other letting me go.  I wonder if he knows that by having me just hanging on a string is doing a bit more harm than good.

I have no idea where we are going with our relationship, what is happening, if he is still my owner, if he even loves me.  It is just a bit confusing at the moment and I don't know where to go from here, I am at a halt.

Since nothing have been said I took it upon myself to begin dating, yup, I have a date tonight - nothing serious, I just feel I need to go out and have some fun as well.  Do I look at it as if I am cheating on my Master? at first I did but I figure that if I don't get intimate with the guy is not cheating.

It was extremely hard making such decision just because I am so in love with him that I can't think or be with anyone else other than him, but at the same time I am feeling abandoned, not cared for, and his interest is on the floor. 

I am confused, what can I say, he says he loves me but he doesn't show it...is just a bunch of mixed signals

Enjoying my Time

Although times are hard one thing I always manage to...smile.

No matter how bad things get, regardless of how hard the situation is I have the hope that everything is going to get better.

:)
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Long Weekend

I can't say enough about this weekend, so many wonderful things happened, feeling even better than I did before, my confidence is in full force, and what?

I was putting myself second, my feelings, my being...but now I am taking over. I was wrong about so many things and now I can see and understand many others.

Keeping myself busy is key to my success, to a better future...I am extremely happy to say, that with an almost new body to match the attitude I am going to make a sweet killing :)

I love my Master with everything that I am and hope to be but it should be reciprocal, don't you think?

For the next few weeks my schedule is full starting on Thursdays...is about time that I start getting back to reality and leave those fairy tales where they belong...I am leaving everything to fate and destiny

it was a great weekend!

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Night out with the girls & Frank

So far trying to keep myself busy has become a serious task *grins wide* since Thursday I have been doing something each night, on a roll!!

Tonight Frank invited us to go out an of course I am always up for some serious dancing! Call me twinkle toes :)
Miss E, Mis W and I are going to enjoy our night, everyone is in a great, positive mood, music pumping, us getting charged up and Mr Frank doing the driving so we can enjoy ourselves.

Looking forward to a wonderful night out!! Everything is going to be just peachy, things are beginning to turn around...I am strong, I need me and only me, I can do this, I will rise.

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Night in w/the girls - Gossip

Been trying extremely hard to stay busy, keeping myself occupied is a very hard task this days because I feel so limited in the things I want to do.

Socializing with more people now, Lady J is back in motion after Punch Eve is out the picture; we love single Lady J, she is fun to be with and is more relaxed around other people...her X-Miss C is back in the picture after almost 4 years doing other things! Welcome Back Miss C we missed ya very much, hope we can have as much fun as we did before.
Miss W is with her lil'Fifi - she is the only one who is new in the crowd but not really! We love ya girly and only when you don't have that negative attitude which is 75% of the time, so young, so beautiful and in need of an attitude adjustment, but hey some people were born to be miserable no matter how much they got it going on!!!

Anyways...today we are just getting all together, have some drinks at W's house, sing, probably dance, drink malibu w/pineapple juice and hopefully pass the funk out :) wishful thinking...good thing is a long weekend *sighs*

My beautiful lesbians and bisexual friends always a pleasure to have a girls night in...there is always a great surprise, the laughs we share, all the gossip about work and of course Fiona (another co-worker) who is usually the main subject of all conversations, the one who makes each and every one of your working days miserable if you don't sit in her office for at least an hour each day to humor her...lol, things you have to do sometimes *rolls her eyes* we love her in our own way...nah seriously...we do for real, even though 95 % of the workplace wished death upon her there are some us that understand where she is coming from, at least we try, really we do *grins wide*

As usual we begin our evening having no idea what will transpire, one thing is for sure, we are going to laugh and have a great time :) that is what we are aiming for.



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2 years ago today...

Is the day we met, I was a fae and he a Satyr...today has been a day of taking a walk through memory lane, to our first week...logged into SL and took some pics for ol'times sake

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY PAPI! I love you mi Corazon

I still don't give up my SL

I logged in today and paid the rent, checked on Bubba - the family dog, and unfortunately didn't bother saying hello to a few of my friends...I am keeping a low profile for now, questions begin to flutter and in all honesty there are some negative people out there.

My friend MissE didn't go on with the plans of opening the SIM, RL comes first at all times, I just hope things get better for her, praying for your GuRl

I am not a constant user, my addiction died out through the years, even though I love SL I also enjoy doing other things, and like every good thing - it gets old after a while; the same story lines in almost all the places, there is so much roleplay you can do, shopping, exploration...as far as the shopping goes it only applies in SL and not in RL, just want to make that clear :)
Anyways...I hang on to my SL with the hope that I will get to spend time with my papi, but like me I think he is feeling the same way, there is so much we can do and with the limited amount of time he was coming in, well...you get my drift.

We all go through our phases when we can't get enough of a certain thing and after a while it just gets played out, we set it aside until we get on that mood again, when we go through that phase.

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Positive

Feeling extremely positive, the situation still the same but it is very different when you pay mind to something and when you dismiss it and just say "fuck it"

There is much I still don't get and trying to figure out on my own...did lots of thinking yesterday sorting out my ideas and future plans; I am not going too far into the future because things do change rather quickly around here so it is better I take it a month at a time instead of thinking two or three months ahead.

A new week has began and with it a new way of thinking and doing things.  I am glad meditation can help me in more ways than one to relax and view situations in a different way, I am reaching a new level and I am enjoying it.  I never thought it could possible to feel the way I have been feeling when I am done a session of meditation, the tranquility and the peace is exhilarating.

Irene making her appearance

Irene has been making her way through the east coast since last night yet I hardly felt a thing, I slept like a rock! I woke up to the sound of the rain smacking hard against the window, I rushed over to check it out and to my amazement the trees where rocking back and forth with fury! I live on a third floor so it was a bit scary to see this.

I made a few phone calls to people I know wake up before the sun shines and they tell me this has been going on since before 6 am, I look at my clock and is close to 10:30 am...Did I sleep through all that? My friend tells me that some streets were close because of trees falling and some towns without electricity; glad we are not one of them...then the lights started flickering, minutes later the entire house went dark but it came back on after a few minutes :) happy moment.

Everyone made a huge fuzz about Irene and like every other hurricane we wait for it was just a little bust at least in our area which I am extremely grateful for and very lucky as well.  Last year Earl was suppose to hit use hard, supermarkets full, the lines going out the door, same as this year, and Earl went by just waving at us :-/ just saying...In the east coast we make huge deals about storms that by now I have learned to believe it until I see it, I still have candles left from 1999 when they said the lights were going to go off at midnight, to be prepare for 2000 that it was going to be chaos...I am sure there are many people still consuming their can food from that year as well.  It is scary to thing something like that is coming our way and we are not prepared for it...makes me wonder

I have some essentials in case of emergency, I am not only prepared for a catastrophe, I am prepared just in case at any given moment something happens.  I don't think we will know when something big is going to hit us, just like that tornado that hit Springfield MA, nobody was expecting that! here! in the east coast, a tornado?
MSNBC post on Springfield Tornado. 

We are just waiting now for the storm to pass, the wind is dieing out, the rain recently stopped, I think we are going to be alright :)

Who Should Give Us Advice?

Most often times we seek advice from the people we know and care about but you have to take in consideration their advice is impacted by the way they feel about you, how much they care about you, they simply don't really give you advice but tell you what to do just because they don't want you to hurt or be caught in a bad spot...

I am going through a very rough time in all the emotional aspects of my life but I keep them to myself, I know exactly what everyone around me will say so why even bother sharing, specially when I am going through a moment of insecurities and it will just pass eventually so why even bother alarming anyone else or give them something to talk about or judge...

Making decisions is hard enough and having different ideas, opinion from different people , their views can be sometimes helpful or confuse you even more, I am glad I found someone who somehow is more or less in the same position that I am and talking to her opened up a new level! My mind is open to even more ideas and possibilities, questions I have to answer for myself, search deep within my soul and my heart...I have a better idea on how I want to approach things :)

thank you Mindset

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Back on the Horse

Feeling like myself this days, pregnancy among other stressful situations can really affect a persons attitude and self-esteem...finally getting back on track on most things.

I want to thank those who are there for me to help me once again rise to the top, with their love, affection, and understanding.  Things are looking pretty good from where I am standing or sitting in this case, I sometimes let things get to me just a bit too much but once I get the hang of it everything just falls into place.

Sorting out my ideas and feelings to figure out where I am standing and where I'm going from here...Reality may suck at times and will smack you on the face with all her strength, but there is a reason for everything, at least that is my believe.  I don't give up easily, never have and never will.

The only thing I am afraid of is that I stop believing in love, in fate, and in destiny...

The Shoulder