Pregnancy

I really never had what they call a healthy pregnancy, I have a low cervix, low progesterone levels, high blood pressure and clumsy as all hell.

October of last year I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks, it was very hard going through it and wondering what I did wrong even joined a support group to get through my thick head that it was all medical and nothing that I did.  I started on progesterone suppositories, eating better and taking care of myself in case it happened again, little needs to be said that April 9th the first day of my ovulation I got pregnant again.

I didn't want to put my hopes up and kept it quiet taking it day by day.  It has been the longest 18 weeks of my life to be honest.  When I missed my period at the end of April I didn't pay any mind, I was only intimate for 2 days that entire month so it was crazy to even think that I was...as the days went by noticed that nothing was happening I went and bought and EPT (early pregnancy test) went to the bathroom at work and there it was - Positive.  I wanted to tell him so bad but didn't want this news changing things between us,besides there were so many things happening that I thought it was not the right time.  Weeks went by and finally he was aware of it unfortunately I was not the one that told him and they way he found out was very unpleasant :( but at least he knows and that is all that matters now.

In just two days I will be 18 weeks and very proud to say my little girl is holding on tight and she is doing awesome regardless of the car accident I had, my high blood pressure, and a recent fall; not to mention all the crap I've had to deal with aside from all that so it has been very stressful :(

Every time I have some sort of pain I can't help but feel scared, my heart sinks all the way to my ass and I feel as if the world is collapsing on top of me.

My Master and I live far away from each other and having a little piece of our love growing inside me makes the entire ordeal so worth it, she is precious and very loved and I am trying my best to have a healthy pregnancy.  Looking forward to the future and meeting her in about 22 weeks *yeeeaaeee*