How Much Longer?

I have not logged in as often, let me be honest by saying and admitting that when things ended with Fox it also killed the love I had for Second Life

Still hurts login in, knowing that he may be in SL, logged in with alt because he is avoiding me hurts even more.  I try not to think about him but I do associate SL with the relationship we had.

I can't believe after all this time he still lives in me, he wanders in my thoughts and I love him today the same way I loved him a year ago, the respect level is very different, and I don't think of him as highly as I used to either...guess that is what happens when we are deceived.

I try getting out, I try going to places but there is no use, nothing is the same, nothing feels the same yet I will not give up SL with the hopes that maybe sooner than later I will get over him.

How much longer do I have to wait?

it is unreal to me that I can't yank him out of me.  I don't look for him, I stay away from him, and the few times I have written I regret it after because the way I feel when I see a letter from him is disgusting!  (smh)

From RL

me

My Collar

I can't wear my DCS meter because it needs to be attached to the chest....

Guess what?

My collar is attached to the chest, and I completely refuse to remove it at the moment, not until I am ready to do so...

Last night I played around a bit to see if I could change the attachment spot and it did not work, so I guess I am going to be without a meter, so I guess I will have to use one of my alts to fight in Thule.

I really don't care about the collar of the rest of the AV's ...Cielo, Kryy..etc, I am going to take their collar off, but when it comes to Punky and Aliexx...their collar was/is like my wedding band, I don't have the heart to remove it yet...even if he logs in and releases his name of my collar, I am not ready to go there.

Maybe in time I will...

but for now...

I can't

From SL to RL
Punky still in love.

Ring Tone

When my Master sends me a text the sound of that special ring tone sends shivers down my spine, my knees get weak, my heart begins to beat faster, a knot in my throat sets in, I blush, I giggle, a huge grin from ear to ear adorning my face and let's not forget the famous butterflies in the tummy going crazy, an enormous heat consuming my entire body, WoWeee, all that by just listening to that melody which calls upon me, and it hypnotizes me and mesmerizes me , knowing is him calling for me, reaching to me.

After some issues I took the ring tone out and I have never been able to listen to it again. I do have to admit, I have tried to get away from him, tried to erase him little by little as it has gone through my mind he tried doing the same. Besides, since he hardly texts anymore I just set all my contacts to default so if he texts or emails I wouldn't jump and or run to my phone, or just go completely pale, blush and giggle while doing a lecture or in a meeting...

Several days ago I was going through my ring tones and came across that special tone, to say the least and although I knew it was not him texting, I felt a rush go through my entire body, I felt my heart skip beats, my chest contract, tingled from the tip of my toes to the tips of my hair, a wonderful and at the same time a scary feeling *sighs*

I can't believe I get like that by just listening to a ring tone...
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Good Monday

I am logged in in SLiteChat, is like an IM for SecondLife *grins* yeah...I am that hooked!! It looks like I am logged in, I really wonder if my av is actually in-world; people are seen me logged in and I am having to explain over and over again that I am not actually there that is just like a chat thingy wingy.

Looking forward to getting home, I have so much to do between this week and next week is not even funny...getting a nursery ready, keeping up with La Dominique since it feels I have been away for a while, getting other things done here and there for I really want to go into my SL full force.
I was asked to play daughter to my friends Kaede and Walker from Terabithia, hellz yeah, so down with that! hehe, getting an av ready to play their kid, I just hope I can do it.  I told them to do a schedule for me, I work better with schedules, knowing days and time I need to be there makes it easier for me :)

RL is going great, feeling at ease and not letting petty stuff get to me...it is amazing how the negativity of others can affect you in so many ways, the way you think, act, and feel.  I was completely out of my character for a while, doubts flying around left and right...sad thing is that certain events that took place just reinforced my doubts about many things :(
Yet here I am against all odds, proud to say that our love is worth every sacrifice I have made and all the changes that has taken place.

Loving you Loving me

**Can't wait to get home**