One of the hottest Beatches in SL

She is so cute! she gets into things I couldn't think of doing, she is bold and tells it like it is! For some reason when I'm using that avatar I have a different attitude...I feel bad!!

And with Halloween approaching and so many things going on in SL, the haunts, the parties, the haunted houses, Octoberville, and I just love to dress up!! I am so into dressing up! I love Halloween!!! and now even more (coughs) anywaaayyys!!! will start login into KoinUp, upload pics and wonder about SL looking for fun places to go to!

*sighs*

Insomnia

I have been sleeping an average of two hours a night and I am feeling extremely tired.

I can't concentrate at all and I am trying so hard...maybe I should try harder :(

I clear my head and thoughts before I lay down, I've had the warm milk (tastes awful), reading (on my second book), writing (I am in need of a few more notebooks), listening to music (very soothing but I end up singing along, so much for sleep)...nothing seems to be helping, yet I keep trying.

This year has been full of challenges, encountering situations I am not used to, working through them and around them depending on the situation, triumph and defeat all at the same time, and I am still stuck!

WTF what can a girl do to be able to breath? I feel as if I am suffocating and everything I am doing is not really working for me, still gasping for air.

I know I am strong, I can do this! I have been through so much in my life and I am still standing, I am not going to allow a set back erase all of my hard work or bring me down...then again...dang, I am so tired.

Better days will come, just waiting for them.



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Winter is coming, getting ready for SL

Logged in a few days ago and seen my sweet Punky and it just made me so happy!  I found her in the same faerie outfit I left her in for our second year anniversary more than a month ago when I took some pictures for the blog.  I paid the tier rent and checked on Bubba (our dog) and now that I am writing I completely forgot to check on spot (our cat), I felt so bad, they've been alone for a very long time :( but that will change soon.

I spoke to a few of my faithful friends and they were so happy I was there, I couldn't stay as long as I wanted to and really wanted to return that afternoon after work but my schedule suddenly changed, plans came up and RL is always first.  We are still having a few nice days out, weather is cooperating (until today...bummer) and I really want to take advantage of it, as we all know winter can sometimes be long and it is just around the corner, I will have more than enough time to be in SL.

I had some offers to RP at a few realms, but I am thinking of going a totally different road this time around, I just don't want to be there taking prim space, I need to put all of my megapixels to good use; keeping my options open.  There is a guy who is always asking me to pursue modeling and each time I log in he hits me up and made a point to tell me that he will continue harassing me until I say yes *giggles* persistent...isn't he?  I am not going to dismiss any possibilities, I am completely open to any suggestions as long as it sounds good and can be flexible.  Flexibility is very important!!!

Lets see what happens this time around, last time I made my comeback things didn't work the way I expected, I couldn't concentrate, I was not in a good place and there was so much going on in my RL as well.  Another thing is that SL has changed so very much and finding new things to do is becoming a challenge.  RP is the same thing all over the place, matter of fact I had a conversation with a friend and it seems that tons of people are feeling the same way, I thought it was just me.
If you are not a creator or have a business to run just gets a bit monotonous after a while, but there is one thing that makes us want to log in and can't even get enough of SL...the famous L word (LOVE) - one of the main reason why people go back day after day, hooked to the max;  ...relationships in SL, darn, a very sensitive subject, lets not go there for now.

For whatever reason I always find my way back to SL, I only wish I could be consistent...then again...I have no idea what this winter will bring and so looking forward to it, lets see what happens!!  :)

From SL to RL with Love
Punky

see you in-world

What a night

I feel like I am in an episode of 'Hungover'

Imagine waking up in a room bigger than your apartment, walk out to another room and see piles of girls sleeping all over the place, not been able to walk around or in this circumstances tip toe around trying not to wake them up...big question; who the hell are all this gilrs? I don't know most of them but remember talking to a few, oh wait but I am not home! Lmao I feel like I am in the twilight zone!

We met some 'rich' guy last night and he fell in love with us, our attitude, charisma, the loudness, my dancing...I thought dude is awesome but when he said his age that was a huge turnoff, helluuur, I don't like younger guys! Maybe in my 50's when I become a hotter cougar!
Anyways, he is a funny character, he tells us we are the first poor girls he's ever chilled with and had the most fun with, duh, does that surprise you?

To sum it up - we went to his house for an after party, met some of his cousins and friends, tons of people all over, dancing, drinking, swimming, it was something very movie like. I laughed so hard with my friends that my nonvisible abs are hurting this morning, it was a great time.

Time to begin my Sunday, I have tons of plans I need to rearrange and other plans that need to be canceled.
Getting things ready for this week ahead,

ain't life grand?

Sometimes when we go out without planning the evening the most amazing and craziest things always happen :)


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...and Friday is here

Tons of trouble to get into, feeling better than ever, my mood keeps changing and for the best of course.

Meditation is getting more intense although I feel I have sorta of a double personality since I am separating certain aspects of my life and not mixing them...different dynamics.

All that counts is that I am having the time of my life with friends, I really would like to include my sisters and we should do things together but seriously, we have absolutely nothing in common and when together we are just a boring bunch, I can't keep trying to entertain them with all of my tragedies and the drama of my friends which seems to keep them well entertained...love it!

With fall approaching we must really take advantage of the few nice days we are going to be having, it is a bit nippy out but as long as it doesn't rain we should be all set!

Life is good and it keeps getting better:)

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Parting with certain things

Still hard to think back at a month ago and think about my miscarriage...it is something that it will take time to get over and deal and with time heal.

We had a baby-shower at work for the wife of one of our co-workers, just so happens that she is having a girl...in other words, it was really hard to gather up the few little things I bought and was given for my baby to give it away. I don't know why I was holding so tight to it, I have no idea why keeping it just made me feel a bit better, but is over and done with.

Healing takes time...one day at a time

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Manic Monday and other stuff

...I wish it was Sunday cause that's my funday...yeah, I only wish it was Sunday all over again, sniff my comforter as I wrap myself around it like a burrito! ummm, I just love the smell of clean sheets/comforters.  Monday mornings I feel as if I didn't get enough sleep the previous night, tossing and turning, thinking and knowing I have to work the next day does not help.  I was really looking forward to coming to work and for that reason I was so excited and I actually had a good night sleep...I even had my clothes ready from last night, helluuuur, when did that start happening?  We just had so much to cover before actual work really began...
coffee + gossip = great day at the office :)
At least our gossips don't get us in trouble, we are usually just talking shit about ourselves, putting each other on the spot and making fun of our own tragedies, and God knows we have plenty!!  Can't complaint, it has been a great day after all, so the gossips did work!

Had a great weekend aside from the date and decided to just lay off that department, my friends can just go suck a big c**k but at the moment I can't tell my heart what to do.
I am in love with someone else and even though this person may no longer feel the same way about me I can't help the way I feel about him.
I am sure he does have some feelings for me somewhere, but things are just not the same.  as Miss E says; how does he expect you to stay in love with him when he does not nurture your relationship...but that is something that maybe when it is here we will both deal with, but until then I am the one who is trying to deal with all of this feelings and this love...

oh well, esa es la vida!

Disaster Date

Why do I bother even trying to go out with anyone else at the moment is beyond me!  Even though it was a double date and I was not alone still made me feel like shit!

I don't know if anyone else will understand how I feel but I really felt as if I was cheating on my Master, OMG, what a horrible feeling!! Feeling guilty as if I was betraying him, and in all honesty I don't want to feel like that ever again.

I kept thinking about him through the entire night, moments of our times together kept popping into my head, I was so very distant.  We went to a Chinese restaurant and after to a club which I was glad about, the loud music helped for conversation not to take place.

I can't help the way I feel, how much I love him...I can't help it if my mind and body does not allow me to be with anyone else...Ladies and Gentleman this chiqui fell in love and she did so very hard!!

Making some decisions

Loving someone makes it really hard to make decisions sometimes, or in my case all the time.

For some time the relationship between my Master and I is very slow, we don't interact, we really don't talk and I feel as if I am getting the boot but he feels bad one way or the other letting me go.  I wonder if he knows that by having me just hanging on a string is doing a bit more harm than good.

I have no idea where we are going with our relationship, what is happening, if he is still my owner, if he even loves me.  It is just a bit confusing at the moment and I don't know where to go from here, I am at a halt.

Since nothing have been said I took it upon myself to begin dating, yup, I have a date tonight - nothing serious, I just feel I need to go out and have some fun as well.  Do I look at it as if I am cheating on my Master? at first I did but I figure that if I don't get intimate with the guy is not cheating.

It was extremely hard making such decision just because I am so in love with him that I can't think or be with anyone else other than him, but at the same time I am feeling abandoned, not cared for, and his interest is on the floor. 

I am confused, what can I say, he says he loves me but he doesn't show it...is just a bunch of mixed signals

Enjoying my Time

Although times are hard one thing I always manage to...smile.

No matter how bad things get, regardless of how hard the situation is I have the hope that everything is going to get better.

:)
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Long Weekend

I can't say enough about this weekend, so many wonderful things happened, feeling even better than I did before, my confidence is in full force, and what?

I was putting myself second, my feelings, my being...but now I am taking over. I was wrong about so many things and now I can see and understand many others.

Keeping myself busy is key to my success, to a better future...I am extremely happy to say, that with an almost new body to match the attitude I am going to make a sweet killing :)

I love my Master with everything that I am and hope to be but it should be reciprocal, don't you think?

For the next few weeks my schedule is full starting on Thursdays...is about time that I start getting back to reality and leave those fairy tales where they belong...I am leaving everything to fate and destiny

it was a great weekend!

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Night out with the girls & Frank

So far trying to keep myself busy has become a serious task *grins wide* since Thursday I have been doing something each night, on a roll!!

Tonight Frank invited us to go out an of course I am always up for some serious dancing! Call me twinkle toes :)
Miss E, Mis W and I are going to enjoy our night, everyone is in a great, positive mood, music pumping, us getting charged up and Mr Frank doing the driving so we can enjoy ourselves.

Looking forward to a wonderful night out!! Everything is going to be just peachy, things are beginning to turn around...I am strong, I need me and only me, I can do this, I will rise.

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Night in w/the girls - Gossip

Been trying extremely hard to stay busy, keeping myself occupied is a very hard task this days because I feel so limited in the things I want to do.

Socializing with more people now, Lady J is back in motion after Punch Eve is out the picture; we love single Lady J, she is fun to be with and is more relaxed around other people...her X-Miss C is back in the picture after almost 4 years doing other things! Welcome Back Miss C we missed ya very much, hope we can have as much fun as we did before.
Miss W is with her lil'Fifi - she is the only one who is new in the crowd but not really! We love ya girly and only when you don't have that negative attitude which is 75% of the time, so young, so beautiful and in need of an attitude adjustment, but hey some people were born to be miserable no matter how much they got it going on!!!

Anyways...today we are just getting all together, have some drinks at W's house, sing, probably dance, drink malibu w/pineapple juice and hopefully pass the funk out :) wishful thinking...good thing is a long weekend *sighs*

My beautiful lesbians and bisexual friends always a pleasure to have a girls night in...there is always a great surprise, the laughs we share, all the gossip about work and of course Fiona (another co-worker) who is usually the main subject of all conversations, the one who makes each and every one of your working days miserable if you don't sit in her office for at least an hour each day to humor her...lol, things you have to do sometimes *rolls her eyes* we love her in our own way...nah seriously...we do for real, even though 95 % of the workplace wished death upon her there are some us that understand where she is coming from, at least we try, really we do *grins wide*

As usual we begin our evening having no idea what will transpire, one thing is for sure, we are going to laugh and have a great time :) that is what we are aiming for.



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