Fixing up

I live in a very small apartment and was thinking of moving, while I was searching for apartments I noticed how hard it was to find one to my taste and most of all "budget", in the end I decided to remain where I am at, do not have the hassle of packing, unpacking, moving, having to put everything back together again, you know...all the tedious stuff that involves moving.

Don't get me wrong...I love the smell of a new place, I enjoy change and would absolutely love to move, but it is harder than I thought :( I will hold on until the time is right and a definite decision is made on my status with my Master and see what develops, I do have a plan B *grins* but that is a secret *hUsHsH*

In order for me to feel better I started to redecorate the place, some of the stuff I was going to throw away I fixed them up and recycled them *smiles* I am going room by room painting and making changes.  I went with bright and happy colors, I seriously need some happiness in my life at this moment.  Although the bathroom came out a bit darker than I thought I figured by putting extra lighting it might do the trick, yet I keep throwing in darker colors to give it some spark..hehehe..

I love to fix things, and often times find several uses for one piece...for instance, we had a desk and I was going to get rid of it, just so happen I needed a place to keep my bathroom gadget: blow-drier, flat irons, brushes, and other thingy wingys we use on a everyday basis.

I took the top off the desk and made two tables and created a top for it, as you can see in the picture below not a great job at the painting so I will blame the ex-husband for it *grins* .... really! he was the one who painted that thing..

Table 1 of 2

The second one I painted before I took the picture but it looked just like the one above...I matched it with the color of the wall and added an orange and brown to make it pop out :)

In the painting process

The green is called asparagus, when I take pictures of it in the bathroom it looks brighter...hummm?

job accomplished

:)

Excited

I am so looking forward to waking up *grins wide* it even hurts just to log off :(

Did a ton of research on certain area to help out Miss E, took some pics, crashed a few times, posted a pic in Koinup, updated my twitter...done much huh?  unfortunately is time to rest and wake up refreshed and ready to get down, multi-task between RL and SL this next few days! too bad I no longer have my laptop *cries* dang thieves!! anyways, wont do me any good to cry over spilled milk, whats done is done!

8 months

Kryytall Galaxy

time to rest!!

Participating

My friend Miss E is building a new SIM; unfortunately I can't write about it just yet since the idea is new and fresh and  you never know if there are spies *looks around suspiciously*

She asked me the following question:

Misselisabeth McCallen: if you had a sim..and you wanted to make an rp sim....what would you make?
Misselisabeth McCallen: :))))

Of course I felt really honored she would ask for my opinion, then my help, and I thought this will give me the opportunity to come back :) be a part of something from the beginning and that is really making me feel great!

We came up with so many ideas and different things to keep the RP going, the plot, how it came to be and where to go from.  My  head is full of ideas, already doing research and homework

Looking forward to this awesome week coming up, the baby is due and is a reason to come home and log in each day, working with Miss E a huge plus...yeeaaeee! oh and will be finishing up the apartment ;P is like humpty dumpty right now and all I have to do is put it back together again...yet there is some hand free artwork to be done in the bathroom, and the hallway to be painted and after that each room will have to wait until I return from my so waited vacation to be with my family, tons of amazing things happening! nice!

Now this kitty needs to get some work done!

It's Friday already?

I can't believe an entire week already has gone by! I am pondering on what I've accomplished so far, I think and I believe I could have done so much more :( but for two days I just went home after work - sat my cute little ass on my favorite corner of the couch and it was TV time!

I had tons of energy all the way up to Monday evening when I arrived home to find out my apartment was broken into and some of my valuables taken :( I am just glad for insurance, a few of the stuff will be replaced soon enough. 

Tuesday - I am hyperventilating, there is someone online making my life a living hell trying to encourage me to leave my Master because of a certain situation I rather not mention at the moment...Sorry buster! love does not have an on/off or stand by switch for that matter, I love my Master and that is all I need to know, I am a slave, his slave for that matter and I do as I am told, I follow his instructions and I will leave him when he tells me to.  Little does anyone know is that I know where I stand; every relationship can go either way, is a chance we take not only when we fall in love but everyday when we get up and we have to make a choice or a decision. 
Yes, it will hurt like hell if things don't work out but like everything else in life - everything will have a beginning and everything will have an end, either way I am living for the moment! making it great each step of the way.

Wednesday and Thursday - between watching TV, surfing the web, since I am obsessed with colors at the moment researching online for paint, decorating ideas, matching colors was also a great way to visualize it, Feng Shui, HGTV on Demand helps me see how I want to go about in a room, oh I also played hooky at work *grins* called my boss and told her I was going to be in later, yeah raaaiiight, I never made it in *sighs* it just feels so good to be at home! the nice smell of fresh paint...yeah was getting me really high but that's not neither here nor there, just feels great to see clean walls all done up, the bright colors making everything seem so new ummmm I so love it!


Hallway - still working on it

 I have been invited to go to a club this evening and you would think since the tickets are free, drinks will be free as well, that I would be jumping of joy, excited, and looking forward for the moment to come, but nope, once again I dread even thinking of leaving the comfort of my home...call me crazy but I also don't like to be up in the mix like that, there are certain things that I would like to di and some places I would like to visit but I will have to wait until my Master is around, FetLife events sound like hot shit!! and that is something I am willing to explore when the time is right for Master and I...until then I will stay with my SL, camping, trips to Borders, movies, spending time with the kids, going to the harbor, taking road trips, white mountains, the beach, arcades *grins wide* yeah!!! I love arcades!!!!!!! I feel like a big kid, hehe!!

With the weekend coming up I am wondering what it will bring...will try my best to make the best of it, yet I notice that my best is boring to some of my friends *frowns* beatches!! hehehe, I love you girls!!!!!!

Lazy Times

I go through a spur of a moment when I don't feel like writing or better yet nothing really comes to mind.  For some reason I have a great subject and come up with awesome and smart things to say ;P but when I sit down to write my mind goes blank! I get so frustrated when that happens...You know that my best writing (thoughts of writing) comes to me when I hit the sheets, yet I can't seem to remember any of it the next day when I am ready to put them down in paper, frustrating!!!!
I just don't like to begin something and just set it aside, but I guess that is the way I am wired.  I often finish all of the tasks I set out to do, but some will take time for when I get bored I just put it aside until I feel like going back to it...bad huh?

Just like my blog my SL time has dropped, is not like I don't want to be there but lately I am just getting bored so easily.  I usually keep to myself or the same circle of friends I've had for many years since joining, I don't trust many for you never know who is who and worse of it all their intentions.  It is hard enough that you have to deal with deception in RL then go into a virtual world to get fucked it is even worse.  I was login in everyday up until Friday because my BFF Pietra left on vacation :( and wont be around until August 5th!!!! eeeeeeeekkkkk!! what am I suppose to do without her for so long? she is my shoulder, my SL support system, seems like she is the only one who gives me strength when I am feeling rocky about certain things, understands my relationship with my Master, always positive about it, and when there have been times I just want to quit she is there to remind me of the great love He and I share, to hold on and stay strong for HIM *sighs* what will I do without her? darn husband of hers had to take her away...hum!

Following Punkys' pregnancy - she is looking awesome! too bad I am not giving her the attention she deserves :( but then again things are just a bit hectic and can't concentrate on having fun.  I was about to get me a kitty kat from Zooby (realistic little shits!) but once again, where will I get the time to just take care of it, I am saving all of my energy and SL time for when the baby comes (Zooby baby).  Since my Master wont be there for the birth of our kid and Pietra will be on vacation I asked Skye to be with me when the baby arrives...why am I feeling nervous here? Just a few more days and I can get to play with her! she is in my inventory already but I can't rez her until the day she is born...I don't like to wait, I was never good at it, but since meeting my Master I think I have become quite a champion at it! hehe

waiting

RL - just decorating my home, painting and making it look different, just want to feel as if I moved or something, I was thinking of moving but it is even more dreadful doing so (I hate moving) so instead of packing boxes, looking for an apartment and all the tedious things that concerns moving I rather move furniture around, and redecorate the place.  Using Feng Shui colors too to set the mood around each room *grins* been researching colors online and coming up with great ideas, my apartment is small...very small...but very comfortable (tall people wont agree - but that has yet to be seen)
Today I am taking the day off from work and try to accomplish the bathroom since the kitchen is done :) I have been trying to get in there for 3 days and so far nothing has happens...I lost mojo again :'(
I will look for some motivation and just charge at it!

Kitchen colors!!

I think that just about covers it all! hehe

Ring Tone

When my Master sends me a text the sound of that special ring tone sends shivers down my spine, my knees get weak, my heart begins to beat faster, a knot in my throat sets in, I blush, I giggle, a huge grin from ear to ear adorning my face and let's not forget the famous butterflies in the tummy going crazy, an enormous heat consuming my entire body, WoWeee, all that by just listening to that melody which calls upon me, and it hypnotizes me and mesmerizes me , knowing is him calling for me, reaching to me.

After some issues I took the ring tone out and I have never been able to listen to it again. I do have to admit, I have tried to get away from him, tried to erase him little by little as it has gone through my mind he tried doing the same. Besides, since he hardly texts anymore I just set all my contacts to default so if he texts or emails I wouldn't jump and or run to my phone, or just go completely pale, blush and giggle while doing a lecture or in a meeting...

Several days ago I was going through my ring tones and came across that special tone, to say the least and although I knew it was not him texting, I felt a rush go through my entire body, I felt my heart skip beats, my chest contract, tingled from the tip of my toes to the tips of my hair, a wonderful and at the same time a scary feeling *sighs*

I can't believe I get like that by just listening to a ring tone...
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

My view on Gorean Roleplay & Masters in SL

I did some role playing as a Gorean slave for a bit but in all honesty it was too hard!  I didn't mind learning certain things but it seemed that everyone in Second Life make their own rules as they go along and at times I didn't know which way to go.

Learning to serve was the most hideous part, writing all those emotes killed me and when you meet some of the slaves that are really into what they do it can make anyone look like you need some serious training.  I write the way I would do things in RL, I am not so great with the emotes and really had to put an extra effort specially when there were people around I would turn into pure shit.  I am not shy yet in SL depending where I am at and who I am with I get quiet and nervous, why? beats the hell out of me! I do feel comfortable when Master is around, able to express myself and  don't mess up as much.

In Second Life Gor and BDSM rule but you have to be really careful with some of the people you meet.  At the Gor HUB you meet tons of Masters looking for slaves to collar and slaves looking to be collared which is something I still can't quite grasp.  A relationship between an Owner and his slave should be special, unique, a bond like no other.  I have met some Masters who have a shit load of slaves and they are extremely unhappy, tons of drama, they are slave collectors, they thrive in saying that they have all this girls at their feet and get a kick out of mistreating them not doing what they are suppose to do...

"It is one thing to own a woman, and it is another to have her within the bonds of an excellent mastery."
Page 465 - Magicians of Gor

Some should read the books and get a bit educated if this is the road they really want to take, just because they call themselves Master does not mean that they really are.

Other things that really was a downer is the name calling...eeeek, didn't enjoy it at all, but I guess is the Gorean way...

"in the eyes of the Gorean you are an animal.  You have no name in your own right.  You may be collared and leashed.  You may be bought and sold, whipped, treated as the Master pleases, disposed off as he sees fit.  You have no right whatsoever.  Legally you have no more status than a Tarsk or a Vulo.  Legally, Literally, you are an animal"  Page 316 Explorers of Gor

I like the concept of the Gorean lifestyle but there are things that I just can't stand, to all you wanna be Masters get your act straight, don't try to play Master, be one!

"Yes, slaves are property, to be treated as a mere animal, but, how many truly are?  Those slaves who are well trained, are greatly desired, fiercely protected, treasured and even loved.  Many a war has been fought over the recovery of ones slave"


"Swords are often drawn on Gor over women, and particularly over lovely slaves.  Women are prizes, perfections and treasures.  It is not wonder that men fight over them with ferocity.  Wars have been fought to recover a stolen slave"
Page 397, Renegades of Gor

"...the slave girl is not simply someone with whom the man lives; she is very special to him; she is a treasured possession; he owns her; he wants to know her; profoundly and deeply; the background, history, the mind, the intelligence, the appetites, the nature and disposition of his lovely article of property; this knowledge, of course, puts her more at his mercy; by making it possible to manipulate her feelings, exploit weakness, drop asides...she is in the helpless condition of slavery, it give him more power over her"
Page 42, Tribesmen of Gor

I love that last quote, makes me understand my Master so much, his curiosity in knowing every single detail about me is awesome!! I am open with him in every possible way you can think of...he owns me, I submitted, he accepted, which was such an honor for me, I do not wear a collar, but I am branded *grins wide* (in Real Life)

I love him *smiles*

Getting Nursery Ready

enjoying the end results

Already at week 16 and 24 more to go (in SL time), time is just going by so fast before I know it the baby will be here, my due date is three weeks from tomorrow.  I have been feeling the baby came at the wrong time, he does not have time to be online and I think he will miss the birth and many more things to come...Anyways...

 Already have the crib, changing table and little things that I will be needing, now all I have to do is just wait for the big day.

I placed a house up in the sky a few weeks ago, cute little cabin place which I use to relax and clean up my inventories.  I own a ton of houses, is one my hobbies.  I thought it would be cozy to bring the girly home to this place, our other home is a bit Vikinish and the Zooby crib might look out of place there.

Very satisfied with the end results! yeaee, I feel weird because I am actually excited about having this baby, helluuurrr, something wrong with me?  It makes me sad in a way...brings certain memories that I am still trying to overcome and there are days that I feel so lost, blame myself and wonder, why?