What a night

I feel like I am in an episode of 'Hungover'

Imagine waking up in a room bigger than your apartment, walk out to another room and see piles of girls sleeping all over the place, not been able to walk around or in this circumstances tip toe around trying not to wake them up...big question; who the hell are all this gilrs? I don't know most of them but remember talking to a few, oh wait but I am not home! Lmao I feel like I am in the twilight zone!

We met some 'rich' guy last night and he fell in love with us, our attitude, charisma, the loudness, my dancing...I thought dude is awesome but when he said his age that was a huge turnoff, helluuur, I don't like younger guys! Maybe in my 50's when I become a hotter cougar!
Anyways, he is a funny character, he tells us we are the first poor girls he's ever chilled with and had the most fun with, duh, does that surprise you?

To sum it up - we went to his house for an after party, met some of his cousins and friends, tons of people all over, dancing, drinking, swimming, it was something very movie like. I laughed so hard with my friends that my nonvisible abs are hurting this morning, it was a great time.

Time to begin my Sunday, I have tons of plans I need to rearrange and other plans that need to be canceled.
Getting things ready for this week ahead,

ain't life grand?

Sometimes when we go out without planning the evening the most amazing and craziest things always happen :)


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...and Friday is here

Tons of trouble to get into, feeling better than ever, my mood keeps changing and for the best of course.

Meditation is getting more intense although I feel I have sorta of a double personality since I am separating certain aspects of my life and not mixing them...different dynamics.

All that counts is that I am having the time of my life with friends, I really would like to include my sisters and we should do things together but seriously, we have absolutely nothing in common and when together we are just a boring bunch, I can't keep trying to entertain them with all of my tragedies and the drama of my friends which seems to keep them well entertained...love it!

With fall approaching we must really take advantage of the few nice days we are going to be having, it is a bit nippy out but as long as it doesn't rain we should be all set!

Life is good and it keeps getting better:)

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Parting with certain things

Still hard to think back at a month ago and think about my miscarriage...it is something that it will take time to get over and deal and with time heal.

We had a baby-shower at work for the wife of one of our co-workers, just so happens that she is having a girl...in other words, it was really hard to gather up the few little things I bought and was given for my baby to give it away. I don't know why I was holding so tight to it, I have no idea why keeping it just made me feel a bit better, but is over and done with.

Healing takes time...one day at a time

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Manic Monday and other stuff

...I wish it was Sunday cause that's my funday...yeah, I only wish it was Sunday all over again, sniff my comforter as I wrap myself around it like a burrito! ummm, I just love the smell of clean sheets/comforters.  Monday mornings I feel as if I didn't get enough sleep the previous night, tossing and turning, thinking and knowing I have to work the next day does not help.  I was really looking forward to coming to work and for that reason I was so excited and I actually had a good night sleep...I even had my clothes ready from last night, helluuuur, when did that start happening?  We just had so much to cover before actual work really began...
coffee + gossip = great day at the office :)
At least our gossips don't get us in trouble, we are usually just talking shit about ourselves, putting each other on the spot and making fun of our own tragedies, and God knows we have plenty!!  Can't complaint, it has been a great day after all, so the gossips did work!

Had a great weekend aside from the date and decided to just lay off that department, my friends can just go suck a big c**k but at the moment I can't tell my heart what to do.
I am in love with someone else and even though this person may no longer feel the same way about me I can't help the way I feel about him.
I am sure he does have some feelings for me somewhere, but things are just not the same.  as Miss E says; how does he expect you to stay in love with him when he does not nurture your relationship...but that is something that maybe when it is here we will both deal with, but until then I am the one who is trying to deal with all of this feelings and this love...

oh well, esa es la vida!

Disaster Date

Why do I bother even trying to go out with anyone else at the moment is beyond me!  Even though it was a double date and I was not alone still made me feel like shit!

I don't know if anyone else will understand how I feel but I really felt as if I was cheating on my Master, OMG, what a horrible feeling!! Feeling guilty as if I was betraying him, and in all honesty I don't want to feel like that ever again.

I kept thinking about him through the entire night, moments of our times together kept popping into my head, I was so very distant.  We went to a Chinese restaurant and after to a club which I was glad about, the loud music helped for conversation not to take place.

I can't help the way I feel, how much I love him...I can't help it if my mind and body does not allow me to be with anyone else...Ladies and Gentleman this chiqui fell in love and she did so very hard!!

Making some decisions

Loving someone makes it really hard to make decisions sometimes, or in my case all the time.

For some time the relationship between my Master and I is very slow, we don't interact, we really don't talk and I feel as if I am getting the boot but he feels bad one way or the other letting me go.  I wonder if he knows that by having me just hanging on a string is doing a bit more harm than good.

I have no idea where we are going with our relationship, what is happening, if he is still my owner, if he even loves me.  It is just a bit confusing at the moment and I don't know where to go from here, I am at a halt.

Since nothing have been said I took it upon myself to begin dating, yup, I have a date tonight - nothing serious, I just feel I need to go out and have some fun as well.  Do I look at it as if I am cheating on my Master? at first I did but I figure that if I don't get intimate with the guy is not cheating.

It was extremely hard making such decision just because I am so in love with him that I can't think or be with anyone else other than him, but at the same time I am feeling abandoned, not cared for, and his interest is on the floor. 

I am confused, what can I say, he says he loves me but he doesn't show it...is just a bunch of mixed signals

Enjoying my Time

Although times are hard one thing I always manage to...smile.

No matter how bad things get, regardless of how hard the situation is I have the hope that everything is going to get better.

:)
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Long Weekend

I can't say enough about this weekend, so many wonderful things happened, feeling even better than I did before, my confidence is in full force, and what?

I was putting myself second, my feelings, my being...but now I am taking over. I was wrong about so many things and now I can see and understand many others.

Keeping myself busy is key to my success, to a better future...I am extremely happy to say, that with an almost new body to match the attitude I am going to make a sweet killing :)

I love my Master with everything that I am and hope to be but it should be reciprocal, don't you think?

For the next few weeks my schedule is full starting on Thursdays...is about time that I start getting back to reality and leave those fairy tales where they belong...I am leaving everything to fate and destiny

it was a great weekend!

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