Thursday, August 11, 2011

My loss & My Discovery

Past week and a half my life has taken a huge turn; I lost my baby, but in the process I realized I lost more than what I thought.

A day after my loss I became extremely sick and at first they couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Four days with a fever that would not go down, shivering, a headache that would not go away and the puzzle of what the heck was going on with me. After many tests and feeling like a pin cushion I was diagnosed with pneumonia and I can't believe it cause I didn't cough or felt that I couldn't breath, in other words I didn't have symptoms that would lead to that, the doctor was saying the miscarriage made me sick, that the depression I was going through was making me extremely ill...

It was very hard laying on that hospital bed through the night and unable to sleep, thinking, pondering of recent and past events, analyzing where I am, where I want to be and where I am going...and I came to a conclusion, I first need to find myself...through lots of ordeals and after so many things that transpired made me realize many things and put many others in perspective, more questions than answers but at least I have a goal, I can see things I didn't see before, naked to the eye but blind to the heart, now I know.



Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile