Random Thoughts

I feel much safer now, my pics, my blog are protected and I feel there is no way someone distasteful will come along and try to use me once again to hurt others.

It is really a frustration not knowing why would someone use up their precious time to get to other people, it has been almost 2 weeks since I heard from those vindictive assholes...all I can say I am glad it is over.

For a long time their negativity was inflicting much damage to our relationship...more in the matter of making me feel guilty for loving him, for having this intense feelings which consumes me from the inside out...but lately having so much time in my hands and thinking clearly when people see a good thing going and they can't have it jealousy will strike!! I am not letting go, in two more weeks is going to be two years since I have been with my Master, yes, we are in a long distance relationship but there are ways of going around that...I have been able to manage.  Our relationship is young and still evolving, I don't want to rush a good thing and better days will come.

I have plans to travel and be able to spend time with him, trying to get myself together here and plan things the right way, although not everything goes according to plan most of the time and I learned that the hard way most often times when you set out to do something chances are if you plan ahead you will make it happen, I speak for myself at least...when I set out to do something best believe I am going to see it through one way or the other...it might take me time but when I have a goal in mind it is all I can see :)

Never take your eyes of your goal :) or your path

Crayola

The smell of an open Crayola box...ummmm how wonderful!

This box was bought only because of the retired crayola crayons! and of course the wonderful scent *takes a sniff*

Makes me wonder what other colors did they retired to the Crayola Crayon Hall of Fame?  must find out

At Home

I don't get easily bored but staying in 24/7 is really getting the best out of me...is not like I don't have places to go but once I am there I can't even concentrate!! What is wrong with me?

I can come up with a few ideas; my heart and head are somewhere else.  Where you might wonder? with my Master...where else? I know we both have much to do and accomplish before we can be together, is not like I can pick up and just go...much has to be done, at least I know from my behalf that is the case.

I finally broke down and asked him for help, boy oh boy was I afraid of his answer...when you have been independent for so long and never needed the assistance or help from anyone else is rather hard to just come out and ask I do have some pride you know ;P
All I can say is that times are hard and I got hit with a curve ball...I was always prepared for rainy days but for some reason this time around I was caught by surprise or better yet I was not as prepared as I thought I was.

One good thing is that I saw him briefly last night and we spoke *grins wide* that man does not know the impact he has on me, VaVaBoom!!! knowing I was going to see him had me over the edge, pacing back and forth, the butterflies in my tummy going wild, my knees giving up on me, once he was there by my side...what can I say? I am in love!! I get all giggly, I don't know how to act, react, my speech becomes all weird, I can't shut up, I keep talking and talking, sweaty palms...oh and I can't stop fidgeting and all of this by just seen him, can you imagine what happens to me when he touches me? I don't think so, but you can at least get an idea.

How much do I love him...Let me count the ways :)